A few humanist jokes

[evangelicalhumanist]

Oh, Baruch. The thing's you'll believe!

[Baruch]

Compared to infinity, we are infants, but I am too old for Teletubbies anyway. So did you like Water Horse? Made me think of Amergin at the time, since it is primarily a Celtic pagan myth, not a Christian one. And the scenes and people, so Scottish, so alien!

Shalom

[evangelicalhumanist]

Didn't see the Waterhorse, unfortunately (it is, after all, the kind of thing I'm likely to enjoy). However, the couple of times I've been in Scotland (Edinburgh, Jedburgh, Inverness, etc.), including motor-homing, I didn't find it so alien. I rather like the place, myself.

[Baruch]

Well then, see it on DVD, why deny yourself the pleasure? Brings back childhood to me.

Shalom

[evangelicalhumanist]

Do you know more New Yorkers are atheists than in other parts of the country? Because they know that the light at the end of a long tunnel is New Jersey!


According to one kid, "A Christian should only have one wife. This is called monotony."

[evangelicalhumanist]

On my tombstone:

"ALL DRESSED UP, AND NOWHERE TO GO!"

[Baruch]

That is a good question. So you are going to claim you are like the always missing Halloween deity from Peanuts that Linus waits for ... the Great Pumpkin ... only for US Thanksgiving ... the Great Turkey ... only Linus' family forgot where they put you?

In my case, having recently seen my own future grave, this is an timely topic. I think I will pick "Too many books, not enough time".

Shalom

[evangelicalhumanist]

How extraordinaly odd that is to me -- to go and see your own future grave! Frankly, I hope Joseph has the good sense to dump my spent carcass surreptitiously and save himself the cost of burying or cremating me. I don't resonate at all with any notions funeral practices. Or perhaps Klingon. Yes, just an empty carcass. Toss it where you like.

[Baruch]

That isn't very Green of you! Polluter then? In my case, it is familial instinct. And your family background is broken. But I think a his & his cremation niche would be fun for you two ... or scattering under the same tree.

Shalom

[Baruch]

Great stories from Haiti. There was this Haitian family who had lost a daughter. They had her body. They managed to get her a coffin, so she could be buried with dignity instead of in a mass grave. When they had gotten the coffin, they found the body snatchers had stolen away her body, to be put in a mass grave, since the grieving family had been inattentive. So they were stuck with a brand new coffin (worth a lot in Haiti but scratch to us ... not a fancy coffin). So there they are, haggling over price with another family, so that family can bury their dead daughter. My own daughter can't even imagine the irony. I talk to her about Haiti or the tsunami 5 years ago ... and she says nothing back to me. I tell her 4000 Americans are missing in Haiti, presumed dead, a greater loss than 9/11. She asked, why would anyone go there? Well I said they must have had business or were aid workers. I tell her about the new fiance, a young woman, crushed under a hotel, who had only been affianced for two days before she died cruelly. Her fiance was there in Haiti (they were both aid workers in Haiti, and had met on vacation in Panama), staying until he could find what was left of his love, and take it for burial. Silence from my daughter. Reality is simply beyond our ability to emotionally process it.

So don't consider what you would have done for you, what would you do for your partner?

Shalom